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Friendship between a girl and a boy – Mission Impossible ?

Submitted by on December 7, 2014 – 11:29 pm

friendshipNot the most original topic in the world – but decided to post it as I am curious of your opinions . Is a real , pure friendship possible between a boy and a girl – or there is always some gender tension between them?

The first answer that comes to my mind – is yes of course that its possible. But then when you think about it – if you spend too much time with someone – especially if she happens to be beautiful and smart girl – won`t you ever think ( if only for a moment ) – that it would be great if you can hold her , or kiss her …

Then again I am not speaking of any girl out there – but of a special one that has a place in your heart . But you are friends – best friends may be – and she is trusting you. Will you betray that trust if you admit that you have feeling for her ?

It has happened to me before – and I made a decision not to admit my feelings ( being a but shy in general – that is not a new thing to me ) . After all if you get together – you know like a couple and something goes wrong – won`t that ruin an otherwise great friendship ?

Comments to the article :


  1. Joe Vegas

    I have liked this girl for a year now. In the beginning we liked each other. And now I dont know if she still likes me. We are in high school and I know this sounds crazy but I am in love with her!!! I don’t want to ruin our friendship. I don’t want to go out now but I want a future with her and I don’t know if she will go liking another guy! What can I say or do to see if she still likesme? I know that I will be waiting for her until she’s ready!!

  2. sophia

    i think tht any love between sexes as boys or girls will be rong in the tennage cause our feeling is not permenat as me agirl if a boy in the club street school etc…….. flirt me with whispering with a word with a smile with a touch i will fall inlove but this is not love this just a way to have and feel love in your life

  3. friendship between boy and girl. will not work. cos people will kinda get the wrong idea and think ur bf and gf. But there is a way. if ur a girl u can be friends with someone gay then no feelings will develop. and other way round for boys. so yes it is kinda possible and kinda not. but Oh well! :)

  4. Vicky

    A guy and a girl can be just friends, at one point or another, they will fall for each other, maybe temporarily, maybe in a wrong time, maybe too late, or maybe forever. (c) Dave Matthews Band

  5. Vicky

    Sorry for some mistakes, just my thoughts on the topic:

    Friendship between 2 sexes?.. Or sex between two friends?
    At this point all young n not only young friendship-couples will say, oh,  commooon! Of course the friendship between a girl n a boy, a woman n a man do exist!
    I wont deny it, my point just will varify, does it unclude only chating, rare or often 2gether goingouts and moral support in tuff situations or it does in reallity have smthing more, smthing more spiritiual n hidden sexual backgrounds?..
    Lets just make my point clear, we all live in modern, or i would even say postpostmodern society, that is why we take off the agenda the friendship  between a gay n a heterosexual girl or vice versa.
    Adam n Eve.. N here we go!! Why didn’t they started to be friends, haa?? Maybe u would say: That because there was no one else, n they purpose was to reproduse our generation! I agree, but their purpose  was also not to fuck up, n to stay unspoild in Adam garten, but the desire to try smthing forbidden, with which by the way, the Holly God already made them, ruined the whole plan!
    Why do the most of the love movie stories start up with a friendship n end with a happy love end? Ull say, because its a movie! Okei, but what is then our real life? If all the books, films n some “shit, that my dad says” are having successful sex-love ending?
    If u r two humans, with “like god made” preferances, it means, when u have a best friend n u share with him all the fucked-up situation, experiences, happiness, just some exciting moments, n just like a really close to u human being he has to acsept all of them, co-feel so to say them with u n to give u even a piece of advice, dont u think at this point, that it is just the another part of u, smtimes u do feel! N when it happens, u already dont hang labels “my close friend/buddy/dude/kumpel”, in yr conciousness it is like “my close” full point.

  6. los

    I pearsonaly believe that a guy can be freinds with a girl these are the folowing reasons first it can be hard when guys are friend when a group of guys mentality is I’m stronger and do more dumb s*** (I’m a guy I know this) and a group of girls is full of drama and juss a lot of fake people and a boy girl freindship balance each other out and guys can be more trustworthy cause a guy dosent usaly go around with gosip like anyone cares and if u want to talk a guy will listen a girl will always understand they can actualy give advice and do something to help for example one day I was having family issues I told 3 of my girl freinds they without thinking let me sleep at their house cause I didn’t want to go home

    And as far as the guy girl relationship turning into more than a freindship is fully understandable for I’ve been in the situation I used to be freinds with this girl I could have never imagined I could even be freinds with but one day we started talking even though we knew each other for a year we usaly didn’t talk then we then found out lots of things about each other I shared my secrets she shared hers and after a while I devoleped feelings I ignored them because she had a boyfreind when they broke up I was there for her I wanted to tell her how I felt but I was shy and kept telling my self its not the right time to tell her something I have regreted every day of my life the last day I saw this girl was the last day of school she called me a trader for not talking to her As much as we used to (looking back she was right) so after that I reached in my pocket pulled ot a box with a ring in it gave it to her and said “happy graduation” she saw what it was and said “why would u give me that if I called u a trader” I responded “because regardless I will always care about you even though ur mp and a a king I looked past that and now I look pass that u called a trader” she said she felt bad then I left after that day I never saw her again we both stayed in the same city but went to diferent school

  7. arshia

    its for 2years that i love a boy,and i’m sure he loves me either.one of my friends told me his name but,i’m a stranger to him yet,cuz he doesnt know my name.its odd,but i really love him.i refused so many boys suggests for a relationship,i have missed so many chances,hope i get him some day

    • Afraz

      Yes, you will get it for sure. . Just have the faith in your love and The Almighty above. . .

    • negar

      i’m just like u! all the things u said is right about me! and i hope both of us to fulfill our dreams

  8. mirhijab

    my friend says to me he love me and i belive on him.but he is a cheater when he kissed me and i say we should done marry and thats time he say i dont love u jst time passing thats time i hate from boys.i dont like boys and also dont trust on him butt he is my first love i dont say something to him.but i pray from GOD where he live live peacfully and cheat to any other i dont forgett him nor love to other boy

    • Ravi k

      Hay do u know onething….that guys must be lucky having ur love….!!!I hope u will get him 1day..!

    • hardik

      i dont belive tht every one is cheater. i was also fall in filling wid num of girls but never cross the limits.

  9. Js Haider

    Hello friends,
    As far as i know, a girl and a boy can be friends, until the age of 9 and 10. Yeah it’s true, as the feeling of sexuality increases, a single boy or a single girl cannot be a friend. A relation between a girl and a boy can never remain pure if they are close, if they can meet each other they can hang out. There is no fault of boy nor of girls, it is the fault of modern era, especially media, which is introducing love in the form of sex. In account to the matter, i already wrote a boy and a girl can only be friends till 9 to 10 years of age.
    So boys please limit your friendship to boys, and girls keep making new girlfriends. That’s all. Why should we need a (boys) girl to be a friend? And girls why u need a boy to be a friend…
    Sorry I am a bit open in my words, i tried to write in limits… i hope u all will not mind it. Thank you.

    • Blueberry345

      Well, I’ve been best friends with aboy since we were four, we are both eleven now, and don’t care if the other person has a crush. He likes another girl and I like another boy, this doesn’t damage the friendship. Also, I know a woman and a man who are close friends, they’ve been friends since they were toddlers, and they both have other partners! So I personally think its possible, but only if the friendship started when they were younger than sixish.

  10. Bajaj_guneet

    after reading your story i wound like to advice you to tell your feelings to him..as your best friend he will defiantly understand ..and will do something for you

  11. Hello Sheila,

    It seems that you both feelings to each other which naturally came as a result of your close friendship. Believe me I know well what is to be in love with someone and watch that someone with another person – which is not for her. But then back then I kept silent and know think that it was a mistake on my side. I think that it will be better if you we speak with each other – now may be you are worrying what he would think, and its likely that he thinks the same – but for the same of the real feelings and the real think I think you should be honest ….at least to yourself. I watched a film recently which made me think of this post “The Leaving of Liverpool ” which has a bit of that – a strong friendship that evolves into something more….may be you should check it out….even if I am not sure it it is going to help.

  12. Sheila

    I also have a situation I really cannot solve by myself. I’ll be brief.
    For a while now, almost two years, I’ve been hanging out with this guy. He’s a friend, a really good friend and I care for him (not in THAT way, if you know what I mean). He’s kinda cute, very nice and smart and we can talk for hours. He knows me and I know him, we know when the other is nervous or sad and we know how to help each other.
    There has always been a little flirtatious thing going on, just because of the opposite sex and the fact that we’re still young. Neither of us is in a relationship, but he has a crush on one of my girlfriends and I often find myself thinking, she’s not good enough for him and I really don’t want her to hurt him (she’s been with a whole lot of guys and she broke all of their hearts). I’m protective over him, but I don’t want to be with him, like, in a love relationship. It’s not that kind of love that we share.
    He acts the same, because we went out one night and there was a guy, hitting on me the whole time. My friend was looking furious and he was in a bad mood the entire evening. When we went home, he was like: ‘You’re not gonna call him, are you?’
    I really really don’t know. If we don’t talk for a while, I miss him, I’m afraid something’s gonna end our friendship and I don’t want that.
    Right now, we’re in a little fight. I want him back, but I can’t let him be with my previsouly mentioned friend. I want him to have a great girlfriend, I do. Just NOT her.
    How can I tell him that without making it seem like I want to be with him? :/

    • Nisha_cutie

      Sheila, your problem isnt a problem at all…u guys are in love with each other

    • amir

      woooowwwwwwwww….! I think you should call him but as a missed call to show him you are not so sad and you want to be in his arm again….! I think this miss call can be a good start for both of you because he is proud of himself and he is waiting for a little reaction from you so do this…!
      I’m 17 year old boy and my girfriend is 16 and we do this every time we had a bit argument and it was good for us to be together again…!
      DO THIS…!

  13. shelbi

    hmmm. this is the ultimate question. can the genders be friends? ive read all the comments on this article and i see some sures. and i see where theyre coming from. i have guy friends. lots of them. and we talk and everything and theres no attraction other than the friendship between us. but on the other hand, i look at the comments that say absolutely not to the genders being friends and i see their points. i believe that if you are friends with the opposite gender for a long period of time, there will definitely be a time when in the back of your mind, you think….hmm….i wonder…and then you go to a land called what if. and you might even take some action and tell this person how you feel. but most of the time, the person keeps quiet. and it stays like that. and believe it or not-it eventually gets tire-ing and you give up. you start loving them like a brother or sister….and you stay friends. best friends for life. there are other situations of course where they tell them and then they become more than friends and become soulmates. it happens. but anyways…so….yeah. sure. i think guys and girls can be friends. most of the time. i know they can. but thats just my point of view. its nice to hear everyone elses opinion.:)

    • arman

      plz forget him or dont think him .until he think u …… this is rule

  14. dean

    hi, i’m 27 years old.well i have a situation, i have a friend, girl, 6 years younger than me, and we chat by msn everyday, we’ve become very close friends, though we never see each other, once a year at the most. well this is how i met her. i went to play soccer with some friends and after that we went to a bar, this was 3 years ago, i saw her with some friends and we talked a lot that night and laughed and i saw something in her, like when you know this person is special, not to marry, but to hang out. months passed by, we still chatted everyday until we decided to go out. so..we went out and kissed. we had a great time that day and continued chatting by msn. After a while chatting was less until we stopped talking to each other, to my surprise, she started dating a guy, and this guy told her not to talk to me cause he felt jelous, so she didn’t speak to me for a long time. so i started to see someone, but i always had the feeling that something was missing. like i needed to talk to her and tell her that i was happy in my new relationship. well, again to my surprise and coicidence, one day i got a message from her, saying “i missed you” and that same day i ended my relationship.( before i got the message). so again we started talking and chatting, feeling much complete now that i have her back in my life.
    Now i’m in a new relationship and i know that i can have her as a friend but the problem is that she likes this new guy and i asked her, are you going to stop talking to me again??- the answer was no, but this was 2 weeks ago, now i haven’t heard anything from her since.
    why are my feelings so strong for her? Could it be something else?? i honestly can say that i don’t want to marry her, or have a love relationship with her, and i do feel happy for her having someone in her life, but why does she have to put me on stand by?? why are we best friends when she’s single??
    so now i don’t know what to do…
    well, thanks for reading…
    and your time and space,

  15. alneida

    ok….becouse i think i’m right on topic i’ll tell you what happened to me:
    about 4 years ago I had an 1 year long relationship with a boy let’s call him J and throw him we both met M, a friend of a friend of his(hope you get the conections). and we quickly became a best-friends trio, spending all of our free time toghether, birthdays, holidays…everything. then M found a girlfriend and than things got a bit different…becouse we were now 4 and we actualy spend even more time toghether than before…but me and M became closer friends as we were disscusing relationship issues with each other…and became unseparable, we were both very inlove with our partners but i view him as a better verion as one of my femeale friends…i could talk anything(about periods, beauty problems…he even used to help me dye my hair, school, dreams and of course relationship) and i was getting advices from a male point of view, and he told me he feels the same and he’s very confortable to talk to me. after he broke up with his girlfriend, my boyfriend J asked me to spend some time with M to help him get over her he sad that ha can’t find the words to make him feel better, that’s when i started to feel atracted to him…but i stood silent for 6 months…and kept the friendship going…after 6 months i said that i’m sure i love him…and i have to do something about it…so i broke up with J and told M everything…only 2 days later we were a couple…many problems apeared out of thin air and we had more argues than i could imagine…we even broke up 3 times…but we’re still toghether after 3 years and planing to get married…and only becouse we were first best friends, and we know each-other’s darkest secrets…and we remained bestfriends in the relation ship…for example when we broke up the first time it was becouse i cheated on him, and told him…he couldn’t deal with it for the moment so we broke up as a couple but not as friends remained friends and after a month we were back together(which i’m sure wouldn’t happened if i wouldn’t told him) we lost a baby, he cheated on me…we got throw heaven and hell this 3 years but we’re still together becouse we always placed friendship first and than romance…that’s how i’m sure our marriage will last couse boyfriends come and go…but friends stay forever….maybe our romantic relation gets boring, maybe were stressed out from work…and there’s nothing better than coming home to a talk with your old best-friend…now we’re living together and saving 4 the wedding…it’s hard…but feels right.

    so my advise to those of you who are afraid to start a relationship with a bestfriend becouse you’re afraid you’ll lose him/her that’s simply stupid…you don’t simply lose a friend…and friendship is the best way to love someone…and the only way to get past unpleasent moments…i know i’ve never been happier

  16. Lucas

    This is a very tricky thing. You´ll never know what will happen when you tell about your feelings for another, for example a girl you like. I don´t want to give any advice here, just saying it´s not easy. But what I can say is that you shouldn´t forget that friendship is also a kind of love, and that it often lasts longer than a romantic relationship (unless you´ve found the love of your life). Sometimes it´s also possible to become good friends with someone that you have had a romantic relationship with, but after the romance has ended. In my life friendship is very important, and I love my friends. And one day I´ll find the love of my life, and I hope that person would become my best friend too.

  17. Hello T,

    Thank you for sharing your experience. I have been in your situation and definitely as you said hiding your own feelings is a hard thing to do . Still as you know from my post I did regret not telling – sometimes in life you don`t get second chances. Yet it is a stake – a risk that one has to either take or live with the situation that as it is.

    At the same time I don`t think that when he told as a friend he got back to his girlfriend – this would really mean that he does not feel something for you. Boys sometimes have weird and stupid way of expressing what is on their mind ( I am one so I should know ).

    I don`t know you , nor your friend – which makes offering an advice a hard thing to do. In fact even if I knew you – it would not have been that easy. I am sure that you know your friend well – and I guess soon or later you will have to make a decision. My opinion is that your feelings is what matters mostly.

    At the same time I admit that my boyfriend – girlfriend experience is quite limited. I loved deeply a girl and then after we separated – long, long time ago I am still kind of scared of girls ( mostly because I am afraid of being hurt again) .I guess that`s the case because she was the very first girl in my life – meaning I was ready to change the word , jump from a tree or whatever just to see her smile.

    Hope my response to your comment helped you a bit and did not confuse you even further.



  18. Just stumbled across this topic and feel like leaving my comment here.

    From my experience when two opposite gender get too close together, my opinion is, there’s definately one person having feelings for the other person. I am encountering this situation recently and it’s really bothering me. I’m the one who has feelings for the opposite party.

    I believe there’s a possibility that pure friendship exists between two genders but I just can’t differentiate love and friendship when it happens to me. I’ll fall for that person because he cares about me so much!!! To me, what he did was totally a boyfriend and girlfriend would do to each other. We sms each other so much…calling each other by nicknames…going out alone very often…I’m so troubled by the fact that he seems to be doing all these just as a friend because recently, he told me that he got back with his girlfriend. Sigh~~ I’m so hurt by this. I know he never mentioned that there’s a chance between us but from his actions and all, they made me sense the wrong signal!! Sigh~ very sad…I’m hiding my feelings for him and trying to stay behind the friendship line…very hard, very upset…I wish I could tell him how I feel but I do not dare as I fear to lose the friendship…I fear to lose someone who cares about me…

  19. bestpi

    There is a lot of truth in your comments too Susan. Most think that we pick our friends by the things we have in common. In truth, we pick our friends and our mates the same way.

    By their faults that we can live with.


  20. Thank you for the great comment Bestpi. There is a lot of wisdom in your words. Good thing – marriage lies far ahead of me – and I am more interested in a sincere friendship .

  21. bestpi

    I still think you can. I have friends who are female and value their friendship. Using your same logic. Can you have a friend and not kill them? I mean, growing up, haven’t you wanted to kill your best friend at least once? Ridiculous comparison? Ya, maybe but still accurate.

    Just because you may have looked at them romantically for a moment doesn’t mean you want to jump their bones. It is normal and natural to evaluate people around you. It is how you act on those feelings that determines the level of friendship you will have. And you must constantly examine those threshold limits to determine a person’s worthiness as a possible mate.

    Sex is only part of the marriage, friendship and sharing lives outside the bedroom is important too. As is separate time and separate friends, and trust.

    The bottom line is this. If you don’t have trust and friendship, you don’t have a relationship.

    I hope you never get married without being best friends first. In fact, best friends should be before sex. Then you are sure of your feelings.

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